Let’s face it. Just about everybody has overcome at least one hardship in the past. Some may be more recent than others, but time doesn’t always make coping easier for us. That’s why I’m going to share with you how I stopped just coping and started actually letting go (it’s way easier said than done by the way).
So let’s start getting into some deep stuff. My father and I never had the best relationship, and we’d constantly butt heads because we couldn’t see eye to eye. Eventually that headbutting became more– for lack of a better word– physical than it should’ve been. I would have panic attacks, he would get angry, I would become scared of going to see him, and when I did I had more panic attacks because of this and so on. I’ve also dealt with major health issues since I was young which caused my social life to be pretty crappy. Depression also played a huge role in my hardships, and after two suicide attempts, I got help.
As you can see I have dealt with quite a bit in my life. This actually brings me to my first word of advice.
No matter how many or how few hardships you have, you need to recognize that they’re still valid.
Mourning and healing from emotional trauma are natural for humans, as we’re social creatures. This healing process makes it easier for us to function in social situations. That’s why it’s important to realize that anything you’re going through is just as valid as what might be happening to somebody else. We don’t want to bottle those feelings away or they’ll eventually consume us. I’ve learned this from experience, and trust me, it’s not fun.
Give yourself enough time to process what you went through (but not too much time).
If you just sit in a pool of regret, disappointment, anger, sadness, or whatever emotion you’re experiencing it won’t get better. My idea of letting go is sitting in that pool for just the right amount of time. I can’t tell you when that time will come, but you’ll know when you’ve spent too much time in it. Take in that pool, figure out what it consists of, and learn how to best drain it during your time of grief.
I stayed in my pool for about two years too long. I allowed it to take over my life and make me a miserable, miserable person. I eventually realized that I needed to get myself out of that situation before I drowned, and I did that by helping others. Everybody will drain their pool differently, it’s just a matter of what helps you the most.
Celebrate whenever you make a small achievement.
This is extremely important! If you don’t give yourself a pat on the back when you decide to leave that pool, it’ll feel like it’s all for nothing. Keep reminding yourself why you’re doing this, how much better you’ll feel when it’s over, and how much it will improve your life. That will make coming out of your past so much easier.
I know this was a short post, but I hope it helps somebody like it helped me. All I recommend is that you find your coping mechanisms, and use them to your advantage!
Zambizy 
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know that was not an easy thing to do. I am glad you decided to share these pieces of advice with us, as most of us need it, but don’t know how to ask for it. It’s truly comforting to know we are not alone in this world, or that we are not the only ones feeling the way we do. Because most of the times we don’t have nice words to say to ourselves, but we need to learn them. And don’t stay too long in that pool of misery.
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